頑張れイスラエル！

by Efraim Kishon

This is the only country where the unemployed strike. This is the only country where the 'cross country' road ends before it reaches 　 its half way, "Airport City 2000" is still closed in 2004, the water import begins on the rainiest year ever, and Pee GLILOT (where they produce gas) is being dismantled for over 8 years and still exists.

This is the only country that has two Treasury Ministers and neither of them has a dime, a 101 year old rabbi establishes a political party, the prime-minister is not allowed to be the minister of Defense in accordance with a state committee resolution, the opposition forgot to elect a candidate for the capital city and the MPs who chose the right to be silent don't shut their mouths.

This is the only country where a corporal's mother has the commander's telephone no., (so he should watch it!). This is the only country that has a communication satellite, but nobody lets you finish a sentence.

This is the only country where missiles from Iraq have exploded, katiushas from Lebanon, suicide bombers from Gaza and rockets from Syria, and still a 3 room apartment costs more than in Paris.

This is the only country where female porn stars are being asked "what does your mother say about it", soccer players come to the field with their daddy to shout at the coach, and on Friday night when going to the parents, you sit on exactly the same chair you've been sitting on when you were 5.

This is the only country where an Israeli meal is made from an Arab salad, Romanian Kebab, Iraqi pita, bread and Bavarian mousse (which is a state in Germany). We must like eating anti-Semitics.

This is the only country where the guy with the open shirt and stain on it is the honorable minister and the guy beside him with the suit and tie is his driver.

This is the only country where the phrase "I didn't interfere" means that I want to interfere.

This is the only country where Muslims sell sacred souvenirs to Christians, in exchange for bills that have the RAMBAM's face on them.

This is the only country where at age 18 you leave home and at 24 you still live in it.

This is the only country where people who come to visit you for the first time ask you if it's O.K. to "take something from the fridge". This is the only country where you can tell what the security situation is from the songs that are being played on the radio.

This is the only country where the rich are on the socialist left, the poor are on the capitalistic right and the bourgeois pay for everything.

This is the only country where it's no problem to get software that launches a space shuttle, but you have to wait for a week for your washing machine to be fixed. And only here (if we're touching the subject) there's a time unit called "I'll come sometime between eleven and six".

This is the only country where on the first date you ask a girl where she served in the army. And this is the only country where she was probably in a more militant job than you.

This is the only country where between the happiest day and the saddest day there are exactly 60 seconds (Memorial Day and Independence Day).

This is the only country where most people can't explain why they live in it but they have loads of reasons why they can't live elsewhere.

This is the only country where if you hate politicians, hate clerks,
hate the situation, hate the taxes, hate the quality of service and hate the weather, it must mean that you like it (the country).

This is the only country I could live in. It's my country.

英語の間違いも含めて、イスラエル人らしい文だね。（笑）